He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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