tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
