why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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