My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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