So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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