So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
