Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
