2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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