to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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