I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
