I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
