hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize