Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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