How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
