I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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