4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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