they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
