I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
