my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
