get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize