It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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