A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
