just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize