Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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