You just made me feel so damn special
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
