He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
