Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The ass gains better be worth it
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