Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
