Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
