Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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