Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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