Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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