mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
