Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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