you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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