ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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