The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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