i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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