dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
