Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
