and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
