Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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