Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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