I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
