Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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