i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize