i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
