We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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