Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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