from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
