i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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