Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm always down for nudity.
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