honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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