so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
