She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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