I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
