plz talk dirty to me
I wish I could teleport
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize