Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
