No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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