is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
