I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
