Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
