she woke up with a sticky ear
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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