so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
