If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
